Dreaming of blue :)

Well I guess we are dreaming of blue now. I am happy about that, to look on the bright side we already have a ton of stuff, poor kid will wear hand me downs through 2 kids. Boys are great and I love my boys very much, I am just going to be a boys mom, thats ok, I just hope I have good daughter in laws. Our main focus is a healthy boy. We are just gong to have to hope and pray for that. The heart has been doing some funny things it has decelerations and at this point its a mystery of a cause so with me being 19 weeks there is not much they can do so we just have to watch and see what happens. If that is not annoying I don't know what is, these are the possibilities the cord is compressed and either it will work out its kinks and be fine or it won't and if it is before 24 weeks we will just let it do what is meant for it.... Or there is some sort of heart defect and again we will have to wait and see, they really aren't going to do much until the baby is viable. They suspected I may have lupus or RA, but my tests came back negative, I was relieved to find out that my tests were ok but it was bittersweet because it meant the baby may have some problems. The scary part is that we may have a baby here in as little as 5 weeks. I have been stressing out for the last 2 weeks and its so exhausting because I am like a worst case senerio person, I think I have drove my husband crazy. But I am so thankful for my mom and my sister, they have cried with me and dropped everything and came to support me and I love that, they are the best I could ask for and its not like I have to ask they are just there for me.
So we are going to get an ultrasound every month to check things out and hopefully get answers we need to prepare ourselves for whatever we need to.

These are our new family pictures, they would be so cute if I wasn't pulling a cheese ball smile, but it was the only one that everyone was smiling a somewhat.